Most people that know anything about me know that I'm a huge Google user. Gmail, Reader, Maps, Calendar, Blogger, YouTube, Labs, Chrome, and the list goes on. I recently rejoined the land of cell phone users, and I picked my phone (HTC G1) because of it's Google integration.
Now I know a lot of people are very concerned with one provider having all of their data. The idea that the one provider has your balls in their hands and can squeeze or just yank at any given time. Personally my data isn't quite that important, and the convenience far out weighs those concerns. So for me, this is huge and I'm excited. (I'm so excited in fact, I'm not playing inFamous for the first night in 4 days.)
Having said all of that, Google I/O 2009 started on Wednesday and has been in full swing. Day one, those in attendance received a cell phone running the Android mobile OS. Day two they were introduced to what may very well change how you surf, send emails, blog, or hell just think!
They unearthed Google Wave. It's a new web app that Google is releasing later this year, and it basically does everything. And honestly if it can't currently do it, you the user could create extensions to do what you want.
The full Google Wave presentation has been posted on YouTube and I have to say I've had my mind blown repeatedly watching this hour and twenty minute presentation. I was going to embed it here, but honestly I went through all the trouble of typing this out while trying to watch the rest of the video; I'd kind of like you stick around and read the whole post.
Some things really stand out in the presentation. I really like how you can live update a document or event with another user. Add new users at any point of the conversation and the new user can see everything, even replay it as it happened.
The last four Sundays have been some sort of movie event with sister and friends. This weekend is going to be more of the same with Up releasing on Friday. If I could create an Up Wave, invite all who may be interested in the event, and just have at it. Is Sunday a bad time? Go to an earlier show? Do we care about IMAX? Everybody can post their comments, create a poll, and in the end easily see what time and showing is best for the group. Group event planning just got PWN'd!
I'm planning a trip to Washington DC this summer to hit up the museums, and this would make that even easier. I could post all the information I gather to the Wave and the people involved can all weigh in. "I want to go to the Air & Space Museum." "OMG me too, I've never had space ice cream!" (True story, can you believe it?) "I want to go to the pop culture museum." "Ew, I don't want to go to there, let's go see ol' Abe Lincoln instead!" All of this could take place inside of a Wave, and everybody could actively work on gathering information. Hell, this blog post could have been edited and created there! Could have quickly linked all the sites, added images, and maps with out a single mark-up on my part.
As I mentioned in my last post, I recently joined Twitter and have been exploring and enjoying the service. The site and/or clients can pull all the information you want together, but sometimes you miss things. Or other people find things and I'm completely lost on how. With a Twitter API you can set up a "Twave" do it all for you. Can pull information together based on what you need or want, and you can then interact with it as you see fit.
Wave could essentially branch off into anything the user wants it to. If you lack the knowledge to build what you want then just find somebody else who has and use that instead. As much as I hate the catch words of "Web 2.0" or "Web 3.0" this may finally be what those concepts fail at describing.
If you use Google, go watch the video, you won't be disappointed. Make sure you also go to http://wave.google.com and sign up for an account. May be a while before you get in, but it can't hurt. I wrote some goofy haiku for why they should give me early access. I wish I could remember exactly what it was so I could re-post it here. Something about "Gimmie it now please."
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Ann Arbor Skatepark Benefit Art Show
So the comic book shop I hit up regularly - Vault of Midnight - has been very hands-on with getting a skate park in Ann Arbor for the kiddies and adult skaters. There are skate parks in Michigan, but they're out of town, and downtown Ann Arbor hasn't really been very skater friendly. So people had to drive an hour or so to legally skate, or skate the streets at their own risk.
So after a bunch of petitions, and lobbying with the City Counsel, the Skate park was approved and it's money time. Today there was a huge art benefit to help raise money for the skate park and it was at my favorite comic book venue; The Vault.
Event started at 7PM, but I couldn't dip out of work early until 8. Either way a friend and I show up, not really knowing what to expect but wanting to support the shop and the skate park.
Get in, check out the normal stuff and I can hear the auctioneer over the stereo. Besides the fact that you don't normally hear an auctioneer being pumped through the speakers of any business, there's usually an awesome selection of random music flooding the place. We head down stairs and the place is packed.
Now the down stairs area is usually used for board games and older comic book stock, but today it was packed with people and 50 skate decks hanging on the wall for the auction. Because I didn't get there until about an hour and half after the event started I missed a lot of the fun, but I did catch the intense bid war at the end.
One of the bidders and a member of the Skate Park board, Doug Song, posted a lot of awesome pictures on his Flickr page. Make sure you check them out to really see some of the things artist's submitted for the event. I really liked the "Silver Surfer" deck as well as the Marvel characters deck. There's also a picture of the Tony Hawk deck that was signed by 24 pro skaters and was auctioned off in a silent auction before I got there.
Detail: 47 Uploaded by dugsong
Now you can't really see it from the image, but this was laser etched. Curtis described it as a "stencil, on top of a stencil but instead using paint, they used a laser." Curtis and Doug went at it until Doug threw out a bid of "2." Yes, that's a 2k bid on that awesome deck. At one point I thought Doug was going to have a heart attack - and that was just at $1500 - and Liz (Curtis' wife) turned a deeper shade of red every time Curtis bid another $100. Curtis played a good game waiting for the last second to snipe the bid, trying to pysch Doug out of the lead. Bid went to $1800 and Doug made the jump to $2000. Crowd went wild, Curtis bowed out and shook Doug's hand. Game over.
So after a bunch of petitions, and lobbying with the City Counsel, the Skate park was approved and it's money time. Today there was a huge art benefit to help raise money for the skate park and it was at my favorite comic book venue; The Vault.
Event started at 7PM, but I couldn't dip out of work early until 8. Either way a friend and I show up, not really knowing what to expect but wanting to support the shop and the skate park.
Get in, check out the normal stuff and I can hear the auctioneer over the stereo. Besides the fact that you don't normally hear an auctioneer being pumped through the speakers of any business, there's usually an awesome selection of random music flooding the place. We head down stairs and the place is packed.
Now the down stairs area is usually used for board games and older comic book stock, but today it was packed with people and 50 skate decks hanging on the wall for the auction. Because I didn't get there until about an hour and half after the event started I missed a lot of the fun, but I did catch the intense bid war at the end.
One of the bidders and a member of the Skate Park board, Doug Song, posted a lot of awesome pictures on his Flickr page. Make sure you check them out to really see some of the things artist's submitted for the event. I really liked the "Silver Surfer" deck as well as the Marvel characters deck. There's also a picture of the Tony Hawk deck that was signed by 24 pro skaters and was auctioned off in a silent auction before I got there.
The night ended with Doug and the owner of the Vault, Curtis, going into an all out bid war on this board.
Detail: 47 Uploaded by dugsong
Now you can't really see it from the image, but this was laser etched. Curtis described it as a "stencil, on top of a stencil but instead using paint, they used a laser." Curtis and Doug went at it until Doug threw out a bid of "2." Yes, that's a 2k bid on that awesome deck. At one point I thought Doug was going to have a heart attack - and that was just at $1500 - and Liz (Curtis' wife) turned a deeper shade of red every time Curtis bid another $100. Curtis played a good game waiting for the last second to snipe the bid, trying to pysch Doug out of the lead. Bid went to $1800 and Doug made the jump to $2000. Crowd went wild, Curtis bowed out and shook Doug's hand. Game over.
Here I was expecting it to be this boring ordeal, that I'd leave shortly after saying hi to everybody. Instead the damn Mayor of Ann Arbor was there, and the last two decks went for a combined $2,800! Still kind of shocked, but it was a lot of fun and a lot of money was raised for the A2 Skatepark.
I asked if they were going to do something like this again and they're really hoping so. Next time I'm going to be prepared and see if I can win a deck. I saw a few in there that I would have gladly bid up to $250 so I could hang them on the wall behind my desk. My picture of frogs is starting to get boring. But in it's defense it has been there for quite a while. (Sorry no picture, I think sister has the camera with her.)
So I'm home, had a lot of fun, and Arwocky may have TB. Yeah, that's tuberculosis. If you're thinking, "who the hell is Arwocky?" That's O.K, it's an inside joke!
One last thing before I finish, got a cell phone, Ren made me get Twitter, and I now "tweet." Follow my random boringness as I use my G1 for anything BUT making phone calls.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I hate Seth!
For those of you not up on the current gaming scene, Seth is the final boss in the recently released Street Fighter IV console game. He's a cheap evil bastard! There's no other way to describe the angst and hatred I currently contain for this character.
For those who have ever gone to an arcade and dropped down handfuls upon handfuls of quarters to play any fighting game you've run into the cheap fighter who makes everybody violent. Pins you in a corner and cheap shots you to victory, displaying absolutely no skill what so ever, only managing to make enemies of people would likely kick their butt! One deterent to the cheapo fighter in the arcade is the fact that you could actually Shoryuken the person if they played cheap like that. Violence may not ultimately be the answer, but I'll be damned if it doesn't make you feel good!
Seth is that player. Using cheap tricks to repeatedly keep you down. First round is always cake. I've even perfected him a few times on the first round, but the 2nd and 3rd round he's the most evil, cheap, and dirty player ever. Seth is the sound that makes me wanna punch babies.
Regardless of that one - albeit huge hurdle - the game is pretty amazing. Great offline play, solo or with friends, solid online play with very little perceived lag, and Trophies to keep you busy. Now originally I wasn't going to get the game. Historically I've always stunk at fighting games, but seeing reviews for the fight sticks that MadCatz released for the game got me excited. I know it's silly that a controller ramped up my interest in a game, but that's how it really started. Sadly by the time I found out about the sticks and decided to get the game it was too late to get the stick I wanted. The super awesome Tournament Stick is $150 and only 3,000 were released. So I never pre-ordered mine and resorted to camping eBay for a chance at the prize. In my excitement at getting a Tournament stick I found a "Buy now" for $180 and quickly bid and paid for the stick. Only to find out it was the Fight stick instead of the Tournament stick.
Well today my over paid item arrived, and it was time to crack it open and see what I paid for.
Standard fare for a fight stick as you can see, but when various groups were reviewing this stick they went out of their way it seems to bash the Hori sticks. The one gripe that seemed to come up over and over again was the size. That the Hori stick just didn't have enough real estate on the base and can sometimes cause issues. I've never used one so I don't know from person experience but looking at the difference it does look sizable.
One of the reasons why I wanted a fight stick was because I suck at pulling off the Super and Ultra combos, and I suck at pulling off combos on the right hand side as well. So after the unboxing I plugged it in and jumped right in. First thing I noticed was that the stick wasn't going to stop me from sucking, but it was going to help me get better.
The weight of the stick is the first thing that stands out. The Fight stick is supposed to weigh about 5.5 Lbs and the Tournament stick around 12 Lbs. Until I got the thing in lap did I realize just how much 5.5 Lbs weighs. The buttons are awesome, and the joystick is pretty darn good but there's one complaint. The ... whole that the joystick sticks out of is square. So you don't have a full circular motion, and it makes no sense. A number of the moves are a half circle forward, or back or a full circle and you can feel the stick hitting the square hole. Makes no sense and it's something they didn't do with the Tournament stick.
Ultimately I could crack the thing open, "mod" it so the whole is circular and be done with it but I don't know if I'm ready to do something like that. That would void my warranty, and if I manage to get a Tournament stick I'll be selling this one and that's not exactly a plus. "Buy my stuff after I cracked it up, cut it, and then glued and duck taped it back together again! Great shape!"
I'll keep it for now, and see how it performs. So far I'm happy~ish with it, but I can use it for Street Fighter IV and Super Street Fighter II HD Remix so it'll get some love. After I finish Killzone 2 that is!
For those who have ever gone to an arcade and dropped down handfuls upon handfuls of quarters to play any fighting game you've run into the cheap fighter who makes everybody violent. Pins you in a corner and cheap shots you to victory, displaying absolutely no skill what so ever, only managing to make enemies of people would likely kick their butt! One deterent to the cheapo fighter in the arcade is the fact that you could actually Shoryuken the person if they played cheap like that. Violence may not ultimately be the answer, but I'll be damned if it doesn't make you feel good!
Seth is that player. Using cheap tricks to repeatedly keep you down. First round is always cake. I've even perfected him a few times on the first round, but the 2nd and 3rd round he's the most evil, cheap, and dirty player ever. Seth is the sound that makes me wanna punch babies.
Regardless of that one - albeit huge hurdle - the game is pretty amazing. Great offline play, solo or with friends, solid online play with very little perceived lag, and Trophies to keep you busy. Now originally I wasn't going to get the game. Historically I've always stunk at fighting games, but seeing reviews for the fight sticks that MadCatz released for the game got me excited. I know it's silly that a controller ramped up my interest in a game, but that's how it really started. Sadly by the time I found out about the sticks and decided to get the game it was too late to get the stick I wanted. The super awesome Tournament Stick is $150 and only 3,000 were released. So I never pre-ordered mine and resorted to camping eBay for a chance at the prize. In my excitement at getting a Tournament stick I found a "Buy now" for $180 and quickly bid and paid for the stick. Only to find out it was the Fight stick instead of the Tournament stick.
Well today my over paid item arrived, and it was time to crack it open and see what I paid for.
Standard fare for a fight stick as you can see, but when various groups were reviewing this stick they went out of their way it seems to bash the Hori sticks. The one gripe that seemed to come up over and over again was the size. That the Hori stick just didn't have enough real estate on the base and can sometimes cause issues. I've never used one so I don't know from person experience but looking at the difference it does look sizable.
One of the reasons why I wanted a fight stick was because I suck at pulling off the Super and Ultra combos, and I suck at pulling off combos on the right hand side as well. So after the unboxing I plugged it in and jumped right in. First thing I noticed was that the stick wasn't going to stop me from sucking, but it was going to help me get better.
The weight of the stick is the first thing that stands out. The Fight stick is supposed to weigh about 5.5 Lbs and the Tournament stick around 12 Lbs. Until I got the thing in lap did I realize just how much 5.5 Lbs weighs. The buttons are awesome, and the joystick is pretty darn good but there's one complaint. The ... whole that the joystick sticks out of is square. So you don't have a full circular motion, and it makes no sense. A number of the moves are a half circle forward, or back or a full circle and you can feel the stick hitting the square hole. Makes no sense and it's something they didn't do with the Tournament stick.
Ultimately I could crack the thing open, "mod" it so the whole is circular and be done with it but I don't know if I'm ready to do something like that. That would void my warranty, and if I manage to get a Tournament stick I'll be selling this one and that's not exactly a plus. "Buy my stuff after I cracked it up, cut it, and then glued and duck taped it back together again! Great shape!"
I'll keep it for now, and see how it performs. So far I'm happy~ish with it, but I can use it for Street Fighter IV and Super Street Fighter II HD Remix so it'll get some love. After I finish Killzone 2 that is!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Portal
Each year, the day after Christmas is a huge way of getting your hands on some juicy deals. For the most part it's only for your traditional "brick & mortar" stores, but is now leaking over into more and more online venues.
This year there have been tons of Day after Christmas video game sales going on, so not to be left out the online service STEAM jumped in on the action. I happened to see an article at 1UP about the great gaming news only to see that Portal was only $4.99! Portal is an amazing game, and a 5 spot to boot cannot be resisted!
Now I don't much care for the STEAM setup, but I guess it's not all that bad. The best I can find, you HAVE to be online to play any of the games you purchased through STEAM, but I'm online 99% of the time so I should be safe. But say there's a prolonged Internet outage I won't be able to play any parts of Portal despite it being a completely offline game.
Now I've played a small portion of Portal in the past, but I've never sat down with it in any great length. Last night and today I've spent a great deal of time going through the first 19 mission, and have come to the following conclusion:
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Scalpel Please!
Now before you get started in on me with the "where have you beens" or the "you don't call any mores" or the "you don't love me any mores" I know it's been a while since the last post, and I have good reason for the lack of content.
What? You thought I was going to tell you?
Well I recently built a new computer for the purpose of playing games, specifically Final Fantasy XI; which I've played since the North America beta test back in the summer of 2003. Up until about a month ago I've played exclusively on the PlayStation 2, but decided it was time for some change. Some of the limitations of the PS2 had started to cause me issue that only the PC could resolve.
So I went and ordered all the pieces I need for a new computer and got to work. At the time of the original build I decided to save some money at the start and not buy a big beefy video card. FFXI is an old enough game that just about any onboard video card these days would more than do the job, but I would upgrade soon. Here's what I picked up.
I also bought an 250Gb HDD and a DVD drive, but the whole deal ran me roughly $500. Ultimately not bad considering it's a Quad core CPU, 4Gb of RAM and a case small enough that it wouldn't require another room to house it's massive~ness.
Everything arrived on a Thursday around 1PM or so, and by 4PM I was gaming. System ran like a charm, and would do everything I need from it until the final steps were carried out a month later.
Fast forward a month and it's time to complete the process.
The video card was coming anyway, and I figured if I was going to upgrade why do it half assed? A second monitor on the system would allow me to do so much more, and I've had a number of computers in the past with a dual head set up and I missed it. So, on to the packing list.
Now here's where the fun kicks in. The 9800 GTX+ is roughly the size of New Jersey, and for those of you who don't speak geek that MicroATX case is very limited on size. Now I knew the card would fit into the case, just there wouldn't be any more room in there for anything else. I fit the graphics card into the motherboard's slot, do a little slight bending to get the tray slide back into the case and then notice this.
See New Jersey there requires additional power for the fan as well as all the extra work the card's doing. Only problem is the cage that houses optical drives is clearly in the way. That means I don't close the case or I don't connect the recommended but ultimately optional power connector. Because not using the additional power connector could reduces the card's life, I went with this option.
So as the cables out of the back of the case consume my desk, the case fan in the back also blows right across my keyboard. So after 10 minutes at the machine my fingers turn blue and freeze to the keys. I have it set like this because I can't close the case, and this is the best place for it all open face like it is.
So as I look at that image it occurs to me to just cut out a chunk of the cage, connect everything and slide mobo tray in and be finished with. Only issue holding me back is my lack of tools to perform the task. Two weeks go by and I pick up a rotary tool and get home on Friday night at 11:30.
I gut the machine, get started and realize it's midnight and I'm making a crap load of noise. So I give up, decided to go spend some QT with my PS3 and just leave everything set up for Saturday.
On Saturday I did some extra set up and then got to work. Took like 90 minutes to do all the cuts, it didn't turn out very pretty in the end but I got it done.
So as you can see she fits in just fine, and the cable connects and I can go through tie down all the cables, wires, and put the cover back on.
I thought I was going to end up putting the machine on the floor under the desk, but the problem is there are 3 other machines down there so there's no room really. All the other computers are in full ATX cases and one of them is like 3.5' tall so it's not a situation where I could stack them. After spending an hour going through all the crap on my desk I decided to just leave it on the top of my desk. When I rebuild my gateway after the New Year I'll stack the cases then. But the case is all closed up, my desk is clean - no clue how long that will hold true - and here's the end result.
What? You thought I was going to tell you?
Well I recently built a new computer for the purpose of playing games, specifically Final Fantasy XI; which I've played since the North America beta test back in the summer of 2003. Up until about a month ago I've played exclusively on the PlayStation 2, but decided it was time for some change. Some of the limitations of the PS2 had started to cause me issue that only the PC could resolve.
So I went and ordered all the pieces I need for a new computer and got to work. At the time of the original build I decided to save some money at the start and not buy a big beefy video card. FFXI is an old enough game that just about any onboard video card these days would more than do the job, but I would upgrade soon. Here's what I picked up.
- AMD Phenom 9600 Agena 2.3GHz Socket AM2+ 95W Quad-Core Processor
- ASUS M3N78-VM AM2+/AM2 NVIDIA GeForce 8200 HDMI Micro ATX AMD Motherboard
- APEVIA X-QPACK2-NW-AL Case w/ 500W PSU
- Kingston HyperX 4GB (2 x 2GB) 240-Pin DDR2
I also bought an 250Gb HDD and a DVD drive, but the whole deal ran me roughly $500. Ultimately not bad considering it's a Quad core CPU, 4Gb of RAM and a case small enough that it wouldn't require another room to house it's massive~ness.
Everything arrived on a Thursday around 1PM or so, and by 4PM I was gaming. System ran like a charm, and would do everything I need from it until the final steps were carried out a month later.
Fast forward a month and it's time to complete the process.
- Buy a new video card
- Get second monitor
The video card was coming anyway, and I figured if I was going to upgrade why do it half assed? A second monitor on the system would allow me to do so much more, and I've had a number of computers in the past with a dual head set up and I missed it. So, on to the packing list.
- EVGA 512-P3-N879-AR GeForce 9800 GTX+ 512MB
- LG Flatron 19" W1952TQTF
Now here's where the fun kicks in. The 9800 GTX+ is roughly the size of New Jersey, and for those of you who don't speak geek that MicroATX case is very limited on size. Now I knew the card would fit into the case, just there wouldn't be any more room in there for anything else. I fit the graphics card into the motherboard's slot, do a little slight bending to get the tray slide back into the case and then notice this.
See New Jersey there requires additional power for the fan as well as all the extra work the card's doing. Only problem is the cage that houses optical drives is clearly in the way. That means I don't close the case or I don't connect the recommended but ultimately optional power connector. Because not using the additional power connector could reduces the card's life, I went with this option.
So as the cables out of the back of the case consume my desk, the case fan in the back also blows right across my keyboard. So after 10 minutes at the machine my fingers turn blue and freeze to the keys. I have it set like this because I can't close the case, and this is the best place for it all open face like it is.
So as I look at that image it occurs to me to just cut out a chunk of the cage, connect everything and slide mobo tray in and be finished with. Only issue holding me back is my lack of tools to perform the task. Two weeks go by and I pick up a rotary tool and get home on Friday night at 11:30.
I gut the machine, get started and realize it's midnight and I'm making a crap load of noise. So I give up, decided to go spend some QT with my PS3 and just leave everything set up for Saturday.
On Saturday I did some extra set up and then got to work. Took like 90 minutes to do all the cuts, it didn't turn out very pretty in the end but I got it done.
So as you can see she fits in just fine, and the cable connects and I can go through tie down all the cables, wires, and put the cover back on.
I thought I was going to end up putting the machine on the floor under the desk, but the problem is there are 3 other machines down there so there's no room really. All the other computers are in full ATX cases and one of them is like 3.5' tall so it's not a situation where I could stack them. After spending an hour going through all the crap on my desk I decided to just leave it on the top of my desk. When I rebuild my gateway after the New Year I'll stack the cases then. But the case is all closed up, my desk is clean - no clue how long that will hold true - and here's the end result.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Man Laws
For the most part women are aware that there are Man Laws, but they have no idea what exactly they encompass. What makes it a man law? Why is it a man law? Are these rules that only a man must obey? Are there consequences if you disobey a man law? All valid questions, but it seems the Man Law is starting to lose their luster.
Today I'm going to talk about a very important Man Law, and it's probably one of the most important ones. No, it's not "bros before hoes," a law I've always thought was rather iffy since most men don't have the scruples to actually honor it. A rule I'm noticing more and more men just aren't honoring. What is this law I speak of?
Period. Never. Don't do it. Ever. Ever ever.... ever. Pure silence. STFU!
If somebody falls over drunk, hits their head on the edge of a urinal and are rendered unconscious, you cannot ask them if they're alright unless a trained professional has dragged them out of the mens room and started tending to their wound. An EMT would honor this law and risk further head and neck injuries so not to violate this law.
Why you ask did you not help them out yourself? Because of the second room pertaining to the Mens Room. No touching in the Mens Room. There's a third one as well, that stipulates there's no eye contact in the Mens Room either, but this is a lesser known rule and only followed by the most seasoned of veteran old skool men.
Now, admittedly all of these laws stem from some sort of homophobia, and it's truly a shame, but this system has worked since the dawn of bathrooms. I imagine as the Egyptians built the pyramids a situation came up where 300 men found themselves all relieving themselves in to the same hole in the sand. An awkward moment of eye contact, or an elbow touched and somebody blurted how "WHOA!! Back up" in some ancient Egyptian dialect. From that moment forward, it was silently decreed - because meanwhile said potty hole had no walls it was technically a mens room and there is to be no talking - that no talking, no touching, and no eye contact would ever take place in this sacred of most sacred places.
From that time forward men have cut off all conversations as they reached the door of the Mens Room and behaved as if they were complete strangers to the person they were just talking with. A balance was achieved and all were happy to continue their conversation once they exited the room and not a moment sooner.
Today as we use scapegoats to explain away the crumbling of our society's pillars, sadly I'm going to take up the same trend. No, I won't blame this in Scientology, though as you hear Tom Cruise tell it, only a Scientologist could enact the type of change required to turn the Mens Room into a chatty welcoming place that may some day welcome the fairer of our sexes. Y'know, a Mens Room with a soft fluffy couch, flowers on the counter, and a chatty bathroom attendant that doles out relationship advice as if it were cheap knock off cologne.
But no, I blame cell phones. Gone are the days of talking on the phone and suddenly hearing the distinct echo that only the porcelain of a bathroom can create and scream "WTF! You could have called me back!" No, instead people cannot live with out the extension that is their cell phone and the conversation they were having outside of the bathroom is obviously more important than honoring our most sacred - and possibly out first - Man Law.
Today, all within the same visit to the mens room, I heard not one, but two men talking on the cell phones. Neither one of them even asked their accomplice 2nd party to hold on as they completed their business. Even sadder still, this happens several times a day.
These are the types of activities that one can only assume happens in the womens room. Another mystical place where couches, roses, potpourri, and a magical filter/amplifier that allows them to actually understand 30 woman talking simultaneously while enhancing the power of their schemes to be felt by those idly passing within range.
To you, my select male readers - and when I say select I mean the 5 men who reads this crap - I send you off with a mission. A mission to restore our most sacred of law, so go forth and spread the laws again. Teach them that there's a time and a place for everything, and the mens room is a place of business. Handle your business and leave!
Today I'm going to talk about a very important Man Law, and it's probably one of the most important ones. No, it's not "bros before hoes," a law I've always thought was rather iffy since most men don't have the scruples to actually honor it. A rule I'm noticing more and more men just aren't honoring. What is this law I speak of?
There is no talking in the Mens Room!
Period. Never. Don't do it. Ever. Ever ever.... ever. Pure silence. STFU!
If somebody falls over drunk, hits their head on the edge of a urinal and are rendered unconscious, you cannot ask them if they're alright unless a trained professional has dragged them out of the mens room and started tending to their wound. An EMT would honor this law and risk further head and neck injuries so not to violate this law.
Why you ask did you not help them out yourself? Because of the second room pertaining to the Mens Room. No touching in the Mens Room. There's a third one as well, that stipulates there's no eye contact in the Mens Room either, but this is a lesser known rule and only followed by the most seasoned of veteran old skool men.
Now, admittedly all of these laws stem from some sort of homophobia, and it's truly a shame, but this system has worked since the dawn of bathrooms. I imagine as the Egyptians built the pyramids a situation came up where 300 men found themselves all relieving themselves in to the same hole in the sand. An awkward moment of eye contact, or an elbow touched and somebody blurted how "WHOA!! Back up" in some ancient Egyptian dialect. From that moment forward, it was silently decreed - because meanwhile said potty hole had no walls it was technically a mens room and there is to be no talking - that no talking, no touching, and no eye contact would ever take place in this sacred of most sacred places.
From that time forward men have cut off all conversations as they reached the door of the Mens Room and behaved as if they were complete strangers to the person they were just talking with. A balance was achieved and all were happy to continue their conversation once they exited the room and not a moment sooner.
Today as we use scapegoats to explain away the crumbling of our society's pillars, sadly I'm going to take up the same trend. No, I won't blame this in Scientology, though as you hear Tom Cruise tell it, only a Scientologist could enact the type of change required to turn the Mens Room into a chatty welcoming place that may some day welcome the fairer of our sexes. Y'know, a Mens Room with a soft fluffy couch, flowers on the counter, and a chatty bathroom attendant that doles out relationship advice as if it were cheap knock off cologne.
But no, I blame cell phones. Gone are the days of talking on the phone and suddenly hearing the distinct echo that only the porcelain of a bathroom can create and scream "WTF! You could have called me back!" No, instead people cannot live with out the extension that is their cell phone and the conversation they were having outside of the bathroom is obviously more important than honoring our most sacred - and possibly out first - Man Law.
Today, all within the same visit to the mens room, I heard not one, but two men talking on the cell phones. Neither one of them even asked their accomplice 2nd party to hold on as they completed their business. Even sadder still, this happens several times a day.
These are the types of activities that one can only assume happens in the womens room. Another mystical place where couches, roses, potpourri, and a magical filter/amplifier that allows them to actually understand 30 woman talking simultaneously while enhancing the power of their schemes to be felt by those idly passing within range.
To you, my select male readers - and when I say select I mean the 5 men who reads this crap - I send you off with a mission. A mission to restore our most sacred of law, so go forth and spread the laws again. Teach them that there's a time and a place for everything, and the mens room is a place of business. Handle your business and leave!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Happy Birthday LEGOs
Further reason of why Google is so awesome, was that gem right there. For those of you who don't use the iGoogle page but still frequent Google may have seen that image today - commemorating the 50th Anniversary of the LEGO brick. 50 years of one of the greatest toys ever made.
Young or old, LEGOs still have lasting appeal. Every year for Christmas I still stuff stockings with LEGOs, regardless of age. The little under $5 kits that's usually just one tiny vehicle but when you combine it with 3 or 4 others you could build any number of monstrosities.
I know my sister and I grew up on LEGOs. Different themes or styles, ranging from city scapes to the giant Duplo blocks. We even got a few of the more generic "LEGOs" that came out of the box with faded bricks and just weren't quite LEGO.
As an adult I still visit the toy isle so I can check out the LEGO selection. What type of new Technic LEGOs they've released, or movie themed pack. The Millennium Falcon kit, a bulldozer with a moving bucket, Bionics, and the list goes on. How many of us were in a mall and saw some giant LEGO creation with a sweepstakes? Having to guess how many LEGOs were used to construct giant clown or robot or movie character or crane in hopes of winning some other awesome prize.
After you submitted your guess did you then wish you could win all the LEGOs and not the promised prize? I know I did.
Here's another memory I'm sure we all remember. Ever step on a LEGO with your bare feet? There's a special place in the world for pain of that magnitude. The thought of that now still makes me cringe.
Now a days we now have LEGO video games so help appeal to a larger group as well as drawn in the nostalgia factor. As I've mentioned in a number of posts at the Sony Report I've played and have become addicted to LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga. Another way for people to continue to enjoy LEGOs and proof that they're not about to go anywhere.
So, here's to another 50 years LEGOs. Thanks for the fun and the memories.
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